Is your relationship working?

Relationships work when people feel safe, valued, appreciated and understood.

There may be other emotions that you see as important in your relationship, but it always comes back to these feelings.

Relationships are built on emotional connections — they work well when you feel emotionally connected or emotionally bonded to your partner.

Emotional connection is a fairly vague term.

Here’s what it might look like when it is present in a relationship.

Your partner is accessible to you:

• You can get his/her attention easily.
• You feel that you come first with him/her.
• You can share your deepest feelings with him/her.

Your partner responds to you:

• Your partner is there when you need comfort or when you feel anxious or unsure.
• Your partner is there to reassure you.
• Your partner responds to signals that you need him/her to come close.

You are emotionally engaged with each other:

• You trust your partner.
• You can confide in your partner.
• You know your partner cares about your joys, hurts and fears.

 What you can do:

• Talk about emotional connection with your partner.
• Notice the emotions you feel when you are around your partner.

Information adapted from Johnson, S.M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. New York: Little Brown