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Automatic thinking is a stream of thinking that is triggered by events or memories and ideas. It is often outside of your awareness, but you can easily bring it back into your awareness. Automatic thinking is predominantly negative, often constant and continuous, and can be thought of as ‘mind chatter.’
Sometimes all you have to work with are the parts of you that have been around for a long time. These parts are the things inside of you that have gotten you through the tough times — the times when you thought you might not cope and the times when you struggled (even if others did not notice).
The quickest way to get away from something you don’t want (e.g., anxiety) is to avoid or escape from it. After all, this is what your cat or dog does whenever it is afraid or scared. Avoiding things seems to work — you feel instant relief and your anxiety lessens. But if it works, why does the anxiety persist?
Thinking styles happen when you habitually process information in a certain way. Thinking habits become ingrained and can stay below your conscious awareness, so starting to notice and ‘catch’ these thinking habits is the first step to making changes.
Thoughts. What are they? What am I supposed to do with them? Which ones should I listen to? Which ones do I need to let go? Why do particular ones keep happening? Will I ever be free of them? Will they always hold me back?
Sometimes good things might be happening around you, but you may not feel happy. You might wonder if your brain will ever allow you to experience happiness.
People usually talk to me about situations and stressful events long after they are feeling overwhelmed or really unhappy about them. Long before they come for help, they have tried to work through issues, and often their attempts to manage things can work for weeks, months and even years.
Partners who share what is happening to them with each other can create a strong emotional connection. Here's how to have an intimate conversation that holds emotional connection.
One of the most destructive interactions that you can have in your relationship is criticism. Criticizing your partner leaves him/her feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with who they are.
When you think that you need to be fixed/undo the damage/repair the broken bit/work on making changes to yourself, and working hard to do any of these things doesn’t seem to help.
Understanding what you value in life and what is important to you can provide you with an underlying ‘guide,’ allowing you to make important decisions and move closer to a life that is meaningful and fulfilling for you.