Stillmind Blog

Categories: All CBT+ACT Relationships Thinking Uncategorized

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Being Psychologically Flexible

One of the most important principles we use in therapy can be summed up in this one idea - Flexibility. Continue reading…

How Does Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Change Your Life?

CBT is a neuroscience-based therapy that provides you with skills, tools, and strategies to change how you think, feel and behave. Many of these strategies are based on brain research conducted over the last 10-30 years. There’s been much research into brain processes over these decades, but one of the most powerful findings is that brains are adaptable, changeable and that they build new neural pathways. Continue reading…

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety -- which at its worst can be a social phobia -- is feeling fearful around people. While some may feel a little nervous in social situations, people with social anxiety feel intense and irrational fear when interacting with others.

The three core aspects of social anxiety are:

The fear of being judged negatively by others.
Excessive self-focus or being extremely self-conscious of how one is perceived.
Avoidance of most social interactions and quickly escaping social situations.

How to Stop Worrying About Being Alone Forever: A Guide for 30 or 40 (something) Women?

Do you worry all the time about being alone forever? Do you continually think that you’re just not good enough or that you’re not worthy and deserving of love? This article is about what 30’ or 40’s women can do when they worry about being alone forever - because they think there’s something wrong with them. Continue reading…

How to Avoid Wrecking Your Life: Manage Unpredictable Feelings (for Logical People)?

Let’s say you can’t control your unpredictable feelings. Those feelings are wrecking your life. You end up doing things you would normally never do. As a logical person, the natural response is to control your feelings even more tightly than before. It’s totally logical, right? Controlling things always worked before, but now, you just have to work twice as hard at controlling things. Continue reading…

How Can You Manage The Awful Anxiety?

One way (and possibly the best) is to use your breath as an anchor. When you do this, you can start to move away from your thinking and anchor yourself into your body. There are dozens of breathing exercises – but it’s good to start with abdominal breathing. Continue reading…

Why Do I Always Think Terrible Things?

Your brain is constantly interpreting events in your environment with an eye toward protecting your life. When you’re in situations where your life is legitimately in danger, this is very helpful. When you’re in situations where your life isn’t in danger, this can backfire dramatically. Continue reading…

Your Anxiety is Lying to You

You deserve to have friends. You deserve to have a family. You deserve to have a romantic relationship. You deserve to have a job you like that you’re good at. You deserve to have hobbies that bring you joy. Continue reading…

How To Treat Anxiety And Live Better

Anxiety didn’t become a problem overnight, and it’s not going to be resolved overnight. It’s a process, and here’s where you can start. Continue reading…

Do I Have an Anxiety Disorder?

The things we worry about are important, uncertain, or unpleasant. If you find yourself worrying about things that are trivial, almost certain, or pleasant, you’ll want to take note. Continue reading…

Calm Your Anxiety with this Powerful Technique (but You NEED to Get it Right)

How do you cope when you feel out-of-this-world, anxious, and jumpy? How do you cope when there are people everywhere and you’re emotionally stretched and ready to snap? You don’t need to be delving deep into your feelings. At that moment, you need something powerful that works in an instant. I’ll bet that you’ve tried a breathing exercise. If it didn’t work for you, read this. Continue reading…

Is My Anxiety Real?

Your anxiety is very real. Everything you feel is real. Everything that affects your thoughts and behavior is real. If it has a real effect on your life, how could it not be real? Some people feel like they shouldn’t experience anxiety. That’s nonsense. Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree. For some, it’s an apprehensive feeling when they go to the dentist or have an important meeting. For others, it’s much more severe. Either way, it’s real, and while it can be a real problem. It doesn’t mean you’re broken and it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Continue reading…

Are you suffering from depression?

If you are feeling depressed, you will notice that you feel continually sad. You may also feel lonely, and when you think about the future you may feel hopeless or helpless. When people feel depressed they tend to think negatively about themselves (self-criticism), the world (hopelessness) and their future (helplessness). Continue reading…

Behaviour is ABC

To change the behaviour, simply make as many changes as you can. Experiment with different changes until you find a strategy that works for you. Change as many antecedents as you can: change the environment, change what might be triggering the behaviour, change what people say or do or change the activity. Continue reading…

Behaviour and context

To understand more about your thinking, rather than examining the thinking itself, have a look at when the thinking happens. Continue reading…

More about thoughts and thinking

Sometimes it’s useful to think about the accuracy of your thinking. Sometimes it’s not. Much of your thinking is simply not referential to your external world. Instead of considering the accuracy of the thought, a more useful question to ask is whether your thoughts are actually working for you. Continue reading…

Thoughts and thinking

Your thoughts are the result of your creative and meaning-making brain. Your thoughts are the result of your problem-solving brain. But what do you think about your thinking? Continue reading…

Do you know enough about your partner?

Love Maps keep you in touch with your partner and provide you with a bunch of ideas you can use to keep your relationship on track. You know what your partner likes, desires and dreams about — knowing these things helps you plan surprises, give gifts and provide timely support and encouragement. Continue reading…

Want to change behaviour? Use reinforcement…

Learn how to use positive and negative reinforcement to change behavior in yourself and others. Continue reading…

What happens when you feel anxious?

Anxiety can affect people in many different ways — you may feel frightened, uneasy, unhappy and sometimes even desperate.You are likely to feel anxiety in your body, and it will affect your thoughts, emotions and daily activities. Continue reading…

Three ways to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness practices help you be open to the experience of living — to be free of what your mind says and to experience peace, calm and relaxation. Continue reading…

Are you living in the present?

We find it almost impossible to stay in the ‘here and now.’ Our minds are continually rehashing the past and considering the future, while simultaneously reasoning through and evaluating options, ideas and experiences. Continue reading…

Here it comes again

That feeling that grabs you and stops you in your tracks. That feeling that leaves you feeling stunned or powerless. When that feeling is triggered inside of you, there is a way to work through it. Continue reading…

About Thinking – Automatic thoughts (from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)

Automatic thinking is a stream of thinking that is triggered by events or memories and ideas. It is often outside of your awareness, but you can easily bring it back into your awareness. Automatic thinking is predominantly negative, often constant and continuous, and can be thought of as ‘mind chatter.’ Continue reading…

What are the things that you’re good at?

Sometimes all you have to work with are the parts of you that have been around for a long time. These parts are the things inside of you that have gotten you through the tough times — the times when you thought you might not cope and the times when you struggled (even if others did not notice). Continue reading…

Are you a flexible thinker?

We love the idea of flexible, agile bodies, but what about flexible, agile minds? Continue reading…

How do you get rid of the pain?

The quickest way to get away from something you don’t want (e.g., anxiety) is to avoid or escape from it. After all, this is what your cat or dog does whenever it is afraid or scared. Avoiding things seems to work — you feel instant relief and your anxiety lessens. But if it works, why does the anxiety persist? Continue reading…

Person sitting on grass looking at mountains

Listen to your thinking – Cognitive errors (from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)

Thinking styles happen when you habitually process information in a certain way. Thinking habits become ingrained and can stay below your conscious awareness, so starting to notice and ‘catch’ these thinking habits is the first step to making changes. Continue reading…

Thinking about thinking (from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

Thoughts. What are they? What am I supposed to do with them? Which ones should I listen to? Which ones do I need to let go? Why do particular ones keep happening? Will I ever be free of them? Will they always hold me back? Continue reading…

How to talk about problem situations with your partner

Here are some communication tips that will help you achieve a healthier relationship. Continue reading…

When good things happen, do you ever really notice?

Sometimes good things might be happening around you, but you may not feel happy. You might wonder if your brain will ever allow you to experience happiness. Continue reading…

Is your relationship working?

Relationships work when people feel safe, valued, appreciated and understood. Continue reading…

What I am noticing

People usually talk to me about situations and stressful events long after they are feeling overwhelmed or really unhappy about them. Long before they come for help, they have tried to work through issues, and often their attempts to manage things can work for weeks, months and even years. Continue reading…