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Thoughts and thinking

Your thoughts are the result of your creative and meaning-making brain. Your thoughts are the result of your problem-solving brain. But what do you think about your thinking?     Continue reading…


Couple eating icecream

Do you know enough about your partner?

Love Maps keep you in touch with your partner and provide you with a bunch of ideas you can use to keep your relationship on track. You know what your partner likes, desires and dreams about — knowing these things helps you plan surprises, give gifts and provide timely support and encouragement.     Continue reading…
Giving girl high five

Want to change behaviour? Use reinforcement…

Learn how to use positive and negative reinforcement to change behavior in yourself and others.     Continue reading…
Man running

What happens when you feel anxious?

Anxiety can affect people in many different ways — you may feel frightened, uneasy, unhappy and sometimes even desperate.You are likely to feel anxiety in your body, and it will affect your thoughts, emotions and daily activities.     Continue reading…
Girl thinking with eyes closed

Three ways to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness practices help you be open to the experience of living — to be free of what your mind says and to experience peace, calm and relaxation.     Continue reading…
Clock

Are you living in the present?

We find it almost impossible to stay in the ‘here and now.’ Our minds are continually rehashing the past and considering the future, while simultaneously reasoning through and evaluating options, ideas and experiences.     Continue reading…
Wave crashing

Here it comes again

That feeling that grabs you and stops you in your tracks. That feeling that leaves you feeling stunned or powerless. When that feeling is triggered inside of you, there is a way to work through it.     Continue reading…
Traffic jam

About Thinking – Automatic thoughts (from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)

Automatic thinking is a stream of thinking that is triggered by events or memories and ideas. It is often outside of your awareness, but you can easily bring it back into your awareness. Automatic thinking is predominantly negative, often constant and continuous, and can be thought of as ‘mind chatter.’     Continue reading…

What are the things that you’re good at?

Sometimes all you have to work with are the parts of you that have been around for a long time. These parts are the things inside of you that have gotten you through the tough times — the times when you thought you might not cope and the times when you struggled (even if others did not notice).     Continue reading…
Men playing chess

Are you a flexible thinker?

We love the idea of flexible, agile bodies, but what about flexible, agile minds?     Continue reading…
Mountains in the rain

How do you get rid of the pain?

The quickest way to get away from something you don’t want (e.g., anxiety) is to avoid or escape from it. After all, this is what your cat or dog does whenever it is afraid or scared. Avoiding things seems to work — you feel instant relief and your anxiety lessens. But if it works, why does the anxiety persist?     Continue reading…
Person sitting on grass looking at mountains

Listen to your thinking – Cognitive errors (from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)

Thinking styles happen when you habitually process information in a certain way. Thinking habits become ingrained and can stay below your conscious awareness, so starting to notice and ‘catch’ these thinking habits is the first step to making changes.     Continue reading…
Man on couch thinking

Thinking about thinking (from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

Thoughts. What are they? What am I supposed to do with them? Which ones should I listen to? Which ones do I need to let go? Why do particular ones keep happening? Will I ever be free of them? Will they always hold me back?     Continue reading…
Couple talking on lake

How to talk about problem situations with your partner

Here are some communication tips that will help you achieve a healthier relationship.     Continue reading…
Friends laughing

When good things happen, do you ever really notice?

Sometimes good things might be happening around you, but you may not feel happy. You might wonder if your brain will ever allow you to experience happiness.     Continue reading…
Couple talking on steps

Is your relationship working?

Relationships work when people feel safe, valued, appreciated and understood.     Continue reading…
Notebook

What I am noticing

People usually talk to me about situations and stressful events long after they are feeling overwhelmed or really unhappy about them. Long before they come for help, they have tried to work through issues, and often their attempts to manage things can work for weeks, months and even years.     Continue reading…
Couple laughing

How to use emotion in conversations with your partner

Partners who share what is happening to them with each other can create a strong emotional connection. Here's how to have an intimate conversation that holds emotional connection.     Continue reading…
People sitting on bus

When there is criticism

One of the most destructive interactions that you can have in your relationship is criticism. Criticizing your partner leaves him/her feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with who they are.     Continue reading…
Couple having coffee

Respond to your partner

Relationships work when you feel ‘safe’ and ‘connected’ to your partner. Connecting emotionally to your partner is a skill you can learn and practice.     Continue reading…
Boardgame

Change your thinking

When you think that you need to be fixed/undo the damage/repair the broken bit/work on making changes to yourself, and working hard to do any of these things doesn’t seem to help.     Continue reading…
Beach

What’s important to you in life?

Understanding what you value in life and what is important to you can provide you with an underlying ‘guide,’ allowing you to make important decisions and move closer to a life that is meaningful and fulfilling for you.     Continue reading…